Monday, February 21, 2005

I still love David, even when he makes mad libs evil...

the other day i was at a stripclub eating pussy when out of nowhere came this dick guy. i could tell he had serious masturbateing problems from the get go. his boobs was all sex and stank like paris hilton. A fuck was hanging out of his pants. he fell down in a puddle of seman. i laughed my vagina off

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Vicky's belly...


Vicky's belly...
Originally uploaded by grannytakesatrip.

I think it's pretty...
Also, I'm watching the new Simpsons and I thought that this was hilarious:
Homer: What’s it called when a guy is gay for a girl?
Marge: Straight!

This was a totally fab episode, it had a viewer discretion advisory for discussion of Gay marriage. I hope this was just Matt Groening making a political statement.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

If anyone ever dares to say this to me I will personally wring their neck!

To pick up Izzy Lee Anne Anderson: Hi. I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.


Friday, February 18, 2005

Sins

Fantasies blinded by neon lights
Buried in feather boas
Drowning in mounds of costume jewelry
You have sinned
A bottle of perfume falls to the linoleam
It’s too sweet
Like rotting fruit
You sin again
A flailing arm
carelessly knocking a jar of powder off the armoire
It fills the air
Clogging your nostils
coating your throat
There’s a point when you just stop believing in God

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Why did they have to die? Warhol, Basquiat, Haring... Who's left?

What is it about art, that inspires the truth within us?
That evokes such emotion?
It ruins lives, destroys relationships, it even kills people.
It’s so dangerous
Like a love affair, it can turn on you and bite you right in the ass
True art lovers don’t buy art
They don’t linger on it, they don’t hang it on the wall and stare at for hours every day
It’s like time, it passes, but it still there
A trace still remains.
It never really disappears

I hate our culture


Me!
Originally uploaded by grannytakesatrip.

AIM IM with montypython1211
Adam: have you ever shaved your pubic hair?
Me: no, ew... Honey, I don't even shave my legs
Adam: sorry. i was just curious
Me: that's okay, I'm just expressing a point
Adam: ok, i see your point
Me:why should I have to shave, when you don't?
Adam: I dont know
Me: Would you date a girl with unshaven legs, or do you think it's gross?
Adam: I would,i don't think it's gross
Me: good, it's just so unreasonable. It really pisses me off, but I'll stop now
Adam: continue if you like
Me: okay... In this society all people are supposed to be equal, no matter gender race or sexual orientation, so why is it gross when I don't shave my legs?
Am I not forfilling some expectation?
It's like you're expecting me to be a meek stay at home mom who lives to breed
Adam: mmhmm
Me: Sorry, I know you couldn't care less
Adam: i don't mind if you rant
Me: That's alright, I'm done


Poor Adam, he's always the butt of my rants...

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Relaxation

I suddenly feel so relaxed. I don't have to do anything to do for school, my dad's not home and I'm watching Spongebob. Could life be any better?
Of course it could!
My Dad just recently decided to stop painting, which is really sad. He's such a good artist, but he never sells anything. He's giving up too easily, who cares if he sells anything. Painting is good for you, and if you payed for art school it's probably not good to let it go to waste. I dunno, it just saddens me.
Aroused is such a pretty word, but I'm not. My porn isn't loading. It's such a dipshit. I've been waiting for like 20 minutes,
GODDAMNIT!
Nickelodeon is not at all hot!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Dumb thing...

Monday, February 14, 2005

 
I AM: Really odd
I WANT: To get up and piss
I HAVE: Shit I don't need
I WISH: I wasn't to lazy to get up and take a piss
I HATE: Bladders, right now atleast.
I FEAR: Rapists
I SEARCH: For an end to writers block
I WONDER: What the fuck this world is thinking
I REGRET: everything
I LOVE: My friends and family, how lame...
I AM NOT: a slut (I guess, no one ever gave me the chance)
I DANCE: ALL THE FUCKING TIME
I CRY: too much
I CONFUSE: People who don't know me and Felicia
----------------------
YES or NO:
YOU KEEP A DIARY: Blogger
YOU LIKE TO COOK: Not really
YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: Not really, I'm bad at that.
YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE: Not love at first sight, but otherwise... Yes

---------------------------------
THE WEIRDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: Myself, Emma, Vera and just abut everyone else.
THE LOUDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: Jeremy
THE CUTEST PERSONS YOU KNOW: Adam, Emma, my doggy (exept when she's stinky) Gosh, we're all cute!
THE PERSON THAT KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: Erm... My shrink
THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH: Hot gay sex... :D
----------------------------
DO YOU...
HAVE A CRUSH: Duh!
WANT TO GET MARRIED: Sure
GET MOTION SICKNESS: Goddamnit!
THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: No
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: Erm... What do you want me to say?
LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: They rock!
-------------------------
CURRENT
HAIR COLOR: Boring old Brown
EYE COLOR:Hazel
BIRTHTHPLACE: Durham, nc
-----------------------------
FAVORITE
NUMBER: 18
COLOR: Darkish pink!
DAY: Friday
MONTH: October
SONG: I can't decide
FOOD: Steak and mashed potatoes
SEASON: Summer
SPORT: I hate sports
DRINK: Joker, absolute, grape juice with sparkly water
------------------
PREFERENCES
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: I couldn't decide...
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Hot chocolate burns me, so chocolate milk.

DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: White is yurmy
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: Chocolate, unless you add something to the vanilla
-----------------------------
IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? Yes, but it was from joy. I was rejoicing the hottness of someone.
HELPED SOMEONE? I don't know
BOUGHT SOMETHING? No
GOTTEN SICK? No
GONE TO THE MOVIES? No
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? No
SAID “I LOVE YOU”? Yeah, but I don't remember who I said it too
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: No
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? No, probably not
MISSED SOMEONE? yes
HUGGED SOMEONE? Too many to count
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? Yeah
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? nope
-----------------------------
Name 5 bands you listen to: Sex Pistols, Warrant (Cherry Pie!!!), the Queers, the Nothings, The Ramones
Would you ever:
1. Eat a bug? It depends on the bug or how much you pay me.
3. Hang glide? FUCK YES!
4. Kill someone? Nope
5. Kiss someone of the same sex? Erm... I'm a kiss slut, I kiss everybody
6. Have sex with someone of the same sex? Probably, it depends on who it is.
7. Parachute from a plane? Yeah, probably
8. Walk on hot coals? Nah, why should I?
9. Go out with someone for their looks? It depends on their looks.
10. For their reputation? Nah
11. Wear plaid with stripes? Fuck yes!
12. IM a stranger? sure
13. Sing Karaoke? sure
14. Get drunk off your ass? I guess
15. Shoplift? I don't think so
16. Run a red light? Erm... I don't drive
17. Star in a porn video? Oh yeah!
18. Dye your hair blue? Sure!
19. Be on Survivor? No way
20. Wear makeup in public? Yeah!
21. Not wear makeup in public? Yeah!
22. Cheat on a test? Sure
23. Make someone cry? Tears of joy and admiration?
24. Date someone more than 10 years older than you? It depends on how old I am
25. Stay up all night? I do it all the time
26. Get Back with your Ex? No

Who you last:
1. Thought of: Adam, I'm talking to him
2. Missed: Laurie
3. kissed: Emma or Zoe, I can't remember
4. Liked: Erm... The guy on the last porn I watched
5. Slept with: NO ONE!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY GODDAMNIT!
6. Cried for: Rachel
7. Wanted to be with: Erm... James Dean

Sunday, February 13, 2005

My bed


My bed
Originally uploaded by grannytakesatrip.

I woke up this morning and found my bed once again desperately attempting to kill me. My sheets were wrapped tightly around my neck and my arms were pinned to my sides by my blankets. It was lucky I woke up when I did (noon), or I might not of been able to struggle free.
I'm trying to figure out what my bed has against me, I don't jump on it, I don't have sex on, I think I treat it rather well. It must just be an asshole. This worries me a bit, I don't want to spend my life sleeping with an asshole. (HA!)
I think I need a new bed...

Saturday, February 12, 2005

"Sleeping"

Ugg... My computer is being such a bitch and is only letting me see half of my porn clips. They're only like 20 seconds long anyway. It's very very sad. They change once a day and I want to watch the "uniforms" one. Today it's boy-scouts or something it's very sad.
On a lighter note, my dad said he would let me perm my hair. So, instead of dreads I'm getting Audrey Hepburn hair. Breakfast at Tiffany's is my new favorite movie. It's still underneath Tootsie, which I watched again today. I've lost count now.
I'm "sleeping" so I'm going to have to cut this short.
I took a quiz and I have a high sex IQ. Feesh's is only average. Fuck yeah.
I must have better guessing skills than she does.
Goodnight...
-Izzy

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Erm... News to me...

lesbian
WOW! What a suprise! You're a "LESBIAN!"
now if you're a guy and you're getting this,
please go see an exorcist. And if you're a
girl....MUNCH ON!


What kind of queer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

I love David!

David: ok does ur mom mind that u masturbate and look at porn or is it one of those she doesnt know things
Me: she doesn't know things... DUH!
David: ok, same wit me...it be a bit odd if they knew and dint care
David*impersonating his mother*: DAVid what are you doin
David: im mastubateing mom
David*impersonating his mother*: ok tell me when ur done
Me: HA!

And we were impressed when Nora was in the fifth, I had no idea I was that bad...

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

This is beatiful?


naked_anorexic_girl
Originally uploaded by grannytakesatrip.

I was reading a blog of a girl who weighed 88 pounds and was 5' 7". She was whining about how gross and fat she was.
What is it with this obsession with thinness. I am amazed and like I said, I just don't want to hear it any more.
Personally I would much rather be fat and happy than thin and depressed.

This is fat...


abdomen-obese
Originally uploaded by grannytakesatrip.

I don't want to hear about it. You're all being greedy bitches. You are not fat and I'm tired of listening to you're whining.
That is fat.
I hate how our culture supports that anything that isn't anorexic is fat. I can grab the fat on my stomach. and I think I have a double chin. I'm fat?
Apparently.
Maybe I should get an eating disorder, it seems to be what culture wants me to do.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Jesus...

Jesus, my dad tries so hard... Does he really think that she’ll come back to him? Because she won’t, honestly I don’t think she’s telling me something. Which is unlike her, she usually just comes out and says think. It really annoys me how secretive this whole thing is, do the think keeping me in the dark will make this any easier.
“I just wasn’t happy anymore,” Says Mother.
*Silence intermigled with annoying guitar plucking* Says Father. He won’t let me see him cry, he pretends he sick and makes me go stay at my mom’s. Which isn’t really fair, he could just go into the basement, I lock myself in my room most of the time anyway.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Wouldn't life be easier?

Wouldn't life be easier if you could just get what you want? Then again, life would be fairly meaningless... I could list the things I want, but they're so pointless, materialistic and shallow. It makes me even more depressed, I shouldn't even think about them. They just make me hate myself. Which makes me hate myself for hating myself and so on... Who gave me the right to hate myself, I don't deserve that privilege. I have a good life, so many people have it worse than me. I almost wish I had a harder life, just so I can reserve the right to complain...
I hate myself

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Offically forgiven...

Alright, you apologized and I forgave you, but here's your final punishment, the word will know that I no longer trust you... Trust is not easy to regain, keep that in mind next time you break a promise.

Carl: Why didn't I stop her when she took her anti-depressants with a shot of tequila
Carl: niiiiiice
Me: I didn't know what to do
Me: don't tell her you know that
Me: she'll be incredibly pissed
Carl: yeah
Carl: I know
Me: Seriously, promise me no matter how pissed @ Rachel you are, don't bring that up
Carl: bring what up?
Me: tequila
Carl: Ah
Carl: yeah I promise

What exactly does this mean to you?
I know you regret it now, but it's a little late for that
Look before you leap...

I'm a bleeding heart liberal... I dare you to do something about it.

The Idiot Son Of An Asshole:


He's not smart, a C student
And that's after buying his way into school
Beady eyes, and he's kinda dyslexic
Can he read? No one's really quite sure
He signs stuff and he executes people
Maybe that's why, he doesn't have any friends
Cocaine and a little drunk driving
Doesn't matter, when you're the Commander in Chief.

Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole

Put on some make-up, turn on the 8-Track,
I'm putting a week back on the shelf,
Suddenly I'm the President, of the United States,
But they I woke up, and realized I'm still me.

He's too dumb, to eat pretzels, apparently smart enough to fix an election.
Moved boldly into the White House,
but most people voted against him.
He likes naps, He's good at naptime, A couple of naps and then a nap and then he's ready for bed,
He may be from Bush decent, He's always gonna be unpresident

Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole

He's our president


http://www.ericblumrich.com/idiot.html

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

STOP BULLSHITTING ME!

We gave him two things to do on the project... two mother fucking things... and he doesn’t do either... Stop bullshitting me about how you worked your ass off on it and then you left it at home, if you worked so hard then why can’t you call your perfect parents and get them to bring it. You actually expect me to believe you!
Honestly you shouldn't even get credit on this project.
"Graham, did you finish your countries?"
"Yes,"
"Then where are they?"
"In my head,"
"Okay... What good does that do us?" The project was due today, do you want us to nail your head to the board with a railroad spike? You expect me to believe that you thought it was an oral project (tee hee) What do you take me for fuckwad?
At least the teacher understand...
DAMN THIS SUCKS!

      
Love know no gender.